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Rev Fun Cartoon

(Copyright Gospel Communications International,Inc -
www.reverendfun.com)

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD ?
Plato:
  For the greater good.

Karl Marx:
  It was a historical inevitability.

Timothy Leary:
  Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Nietzsche:
  Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Oliver North:
  National Security was at stake.

Jean-Paul Sartre:
  In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Albert Einstein:
  Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle:
  To actualize its potential.

Buddha:
  If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Salvador Dali:
  The Fish.

Darwin:
  It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
  It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Saddam Hussein:
  This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ronald Reagan:
  I forget.

The Sphinx:
  You tell me.

Mark Twain:
  The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Joseph Stalin:
  I don't care. Catch it. Crack its eggs to make my omelet.

Captain James T. Kirk:
  To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

PURE LOGIC
A college student was in a philosophy class which had a discussion about God's existence. The professor presented the following logic:
"Has anyone in this class heard God?" Nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class touched God?" Again, nobody spoke. "Has anyone in this class seen God?" When nobody spoke for the third time, he simply stated, "Then there is no God."
One student thought for a second, and then asked for permission to reply. Curious to hear this bold student's response, the professor granted it, and the student stood up and asked the following questions of his classmates:
"Has anyone in this class heard our professor's brain?" Silence. "Has anyone in this class touched our professor's brain?" Absolute silence. "Has anyone in this class seen our professor's brain?" When nobody in the class dared to speak, the student concluded, "Then, according to our professor's logic, it must be true that our professor has no brain!"
(...The student received an "A" in the class.)

COMPREHENSION TEST
The following is apparently a serious piece of research with a surprising conclusion:

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch sutdy at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Celestial Computer Contest
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better at using the computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test which will take two hours and it will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They did spreadsheets.
They wrote reports.
They sent faxes.
They sent e-mail.
They sent out e-mail with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did some genealogy reports.
They made cards.
They did every known job.
But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky! Thunder rolled, the rain poured, and of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.

The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out.
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past two hours.
Satan observed this and became even more irate. "Wait! He cheated! How did he do it??!!"

God shrugged and said, "Jesus Saves!"